


Reality

by Vaderfanboi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Inappropriate use of kardashians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 11:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14693703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vaderfanboi/pseuds/Vaderfanboi
Summary: You and Bruce make a book club. The books just happen to be about Norse mythology which you find out is terribly anachronistic and generally funny. Thor finds out about this guilty pleasure





	Reality

**Author's Note:**

> I dont know when this fic takes place but its before Ragnorak. Obviously I know Marvel got the mythology wrong not the other way around but Thor reacting to tabloids just sounded so funny to me. Anyway, enjoy the fic

Bruce Banner was a genius. At first, you were awfully skeptical about reading a textbook about Norse mythology. You figured it was invasive to read about Thor’s history like that. You wanted to wait and get his permission first but the book was so tempting and Bruce made it so compelling. 

After reading the textbook, however, you realized that you weren’t invading Thor’s privacy at all. You were reading a scandalized tabloid of his life before the Avengers. Eventually, you and Banner made a book club of sorts and got together every week and joked about the inaccuracies of the mythology.

“Okay so he was married to Sif in this book” You noted, holding a novel you had found in the library.

“Is this before or after Loki fathered Hela?” Bruce asked, looking over his notes.

“I think after? Loki is supposedly an incredibly handsome God and had a booty call every night” You said, checking another resource.

“He was alright. I’ve definitely seen worse but he’s got nothing on Brünhilde” Bruce added, totally serious. The two of you were in way too deep.

“What are you discussing?” Thor asked, spooking both you and Bruce.

“Shit! Nothing!” You both yelled, shoving your papers and books away from Thor's eyes. Unfortunately, Thor was mighty and lifted you off the couch to pick up the book beside you. It was fun being swept off your feet and for a moment, you forgot what you were hiding from the dreamy God of your interest. “Thor, no!” you squirmed in his arms as a last-ditch effort to distract him from reading the book title. It was in vain. 

“What is this nonsense? Who is this Neil of Gaiman and why does he believe he has the authority to write my family’s history?” Thor asked, his voice booming as if you weren’t right next to him.

You snatched the book from Thor’s hand and picked up your notes from the stack on the couch. “It’s nothing personal, man. None of it’s even accurate. I mean, was Heimdall actually born from nine wombs?” Bruce asked.

Thor said nothing for his silence spoke volumes. “Okay, did you have a daughter named Thrud?” you asked, not knowing the answer and hoping for confirmation.

Thor scoffed at this and rolled his eyes. “No. But I still don’t appreciate your antics. Why is it that you did not ask me if you were so interested in Asgard's history?” 

Bruce looked at you and shrugged awkwardly, meaning you would need to explain. You let out a sigh in discomfort, “We knew at least half of it was bullshit, but that was sorta the fun. It’s like that Earth show you love, Keeping up with the Kardashians” You said, inwardly cringing at your example .

“Elaborate” Thor demanded.

“It’s metafiction. Fake garbage that keeps us entertained. Its mind-numbing fun like soap operas and bad sitcoms. You’re really just watching for the complex stupidity of it all and in the end, you know it's fake but it was fun anyway” You tried to explain but you knew Thor wasn’t getting it. “Okay, hold on” you searched your phone for a news article you screenshotted earlier that morning. 

Bruce tried walking away but Thor grabbed him by the arm and gave him a look that you were glad you weren’t on the receiving end of. 

Once you found the picture, you showed it to the both of them. It was a badly edited photo of you kissing Clint and holding his bow. The caption read, ‘Newest Avenger Starts Trouble on the Base… Third Base!’ it was corny and a total lie but it was hysterical. So much so that Bruce threw his head back in a fit of laughter. 

“As you know, Thor, I’m not having an affair with Clint as he has been in retirement for months and this article was posted this morning. People buy this crap because drama is fun” You said, scrolling through the album of your phone that showcased other gems such as ‘Hulk and Falcon Elope to Spain’ and ‘Steve Rogers Involved in the JFK Assassination- What S.H.I.E.L.D isn’t Telling Us’. You handed Thor the textbook, back. 

“Is this what humans had before the Kardashians?” Thor asked, opening the book. 

“This is what we had before T.V.” Bruce answered. He patted Thor on his shoulder and left the room to hide in his lab. 

You handed Thor your notes as well. “In case you want the speed course” You said, holding the stack of papers in your outstretched arms. You tried keeping at least an arms length of space between yourself and the God, lest you swoon. 

“You put all this effort into this?” He asked, a bit charmed. You mistook it for him being creeped out.

“We just had nothing better to do. Really, it was nothing personal” You were still holding the notes but Thor stepped closer to you, holding your hands instead of the papers and stepping closer to you.

“Perhaps then we shall make it personal. Sup with me and I will tell you what I know of my lineage.” He suggested, making you swoon regardless of your previous stance on the matter.

Your hands became sweaty as they wrapped tightly around the papers. “Thor Odinson, are you asking me on a date?” 

“Indeed I am, but refrain from telling the press for it would be most unfortunate if Clint discovered your infidelity” Thor said, joking. 

“Of course. We wouldn’t want Sif knowing the father of most of her children was cheating on him with a midgardian” You retorted. Thor leaned down and kissed you, lightly on the lips. 

“Heimdall really was born from nine mothers” And Thor left you with that. You wrote it down in your notes; Bruce was gonna love this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, im coping with infinity war by writing fanfics


End file.
